This is an AI-generated transcript from auto-generated subtitles for the video Happy Hour: Taking Our Seat in the Community with Goodwill for All. It likely contains inaccuracies.
The following talk was given by Nikki Mirghafori at the Insight Meditation Center in Redwood City, California. Please visit the website www.audiodharma.org for more information.
Hello everyone, so lovely to be with you. I’ve missed you. I’ve been teaching a 10-day retreat at Spirit Rock, and it was sweet. It’s always sweet to sit with practitioners really giving their heart to a period of retreat, this sense of dedication, offering our heart up.
I was thinking of you. I was actually sharing this morning in the closing circle, in the closing ceremony, about happy hour and how really delighted and happy this Sangha1 makes me. Whether or not folks who come to happy hour, as you have been coming consistently for a long time, the transformations that practicing in this way, in this daily way—this doesn’t have to be a dedicated retreat, as beautiful as that is and as wonderful as that form is. This is another form. This is a way to really integrate these beautiful heart practices into our daily lives. Perhaps you come with a heavy heart or a mind that’s really reeling from what happened today interpersonally or the news of the world. The work that we do, the practice that we do day by day by day, it’s so heartwarming and astounding, the transformations that it has brought about for each and every one of us. So I’m very grateful to the Sangha.
With that in mind, I want to lead a guided meditation tonight for goodwill, for community goodwill, gratitude for community as a resource. We don’t do this practice alone. If you were just doing this practice alone on your own, it would be very different, not as supported, not as supportive as coming together either on Zoom or on YouTube, knowing others are practicing with you. Or perhaps if you listen later on the recording, just trusting, having the sense that, “Oh, there are other practitioners who are practicing with you.” This community that is committed to cultivating a kinder, gentler, more compassionate world, one heart at a time, to transform our own hearts.
So that’s the invitation. And also, the last thing to say, we know that when we wish well, when we have goodwill for others, that makes us happy. It’s a happy-making process. The more we give of our kindness, the more we have, the more goodwill and joy we have. So that’s the theme. It’s goodwill and Metta2 for the Sangha, for others, for the community, which includes, by the way, us, because we’re part of it. We’re doing this practice.
So with that, I want to invite you to settle in your meditation posture, whatever it might be. Landing, arriving, feeling your feet on the earth, sensations, feeling settled as if you were a well-rooted tree.
Feeling connected to the Earth, connected, upright. Feeling your sit bones on the chair and the cushion. Inviting the body to relax, to offer its weight to the chair, to the cushion via the bones, to the Earth via the feet, the legs. As we invite the body to relax, also inviting the body to be upright. A sense of sitting like a mountain: relaxed, spacious, stable.
And feel for yourself what it’s like to sit like a mountain. Stable, tall, and yet relaxed. We don’t associate agitation with mountains. What do you associate with the mountains? Can you embody one? Can you be a mountain, part of a mountain range?
And feeling the breath relaxing, feeling the breath in the abdomen, breathing in and breathing out. And receiving the breath, just taking some minutes to receive the breath and to settle.
Feeling ourselves in our seat, taking our seat. Taking our seat, feeling our bodies in our seat on this Earth. Taking our seat on this Earth, feeling our breath move through this body.
And now see yourself, feel yourself as a part of this interconnected network of practitioners. Even if you’re just starting this practice, the first time you sat down and are hearing this guidance, you’re still a practitioner. And you’re part of this network of human beings who practice to cultivate a kinder, calmer, more beautiful heart and mind. You’re part of this network. You’re a mountain, part of the mountain range. Feeling yourself interconnected. You’re not separate. You are not separate, absolutely not. Feel the sense of interconnection. Other practitioners, those you know, those you don’t know. This web, this large web of humanity, interconnected. Some you know, perhaps some you don’t. Feel you taking your place in this interconnected web.
See what comes up in your heart. Maybe a sense of appreciation of being in this network. Whether or not I acknowledge it usually, but I am. Every one of us is.
And wishing well, wishing well for this web of humanity, for all these humans, all these beings. May all of us practitioners, this community of people supporting one another in seen and unseen ways, may all of us feel safe and protected.
May all of us be happy, have joy in our hearts as much as possible. Be joyful. May we be joyful. May we practice joyfully, happily.
May we be healthy in our bodies, have as much health as possible. May we be strong.
And may all of us have ease on this path of wholesome cultivation of goodness.
You can use all the phrases of Metta if you like, or just use one or two phrases, simple phrases. May all of us have ease. May all of us be happy. May all of us be well.
Knowing that you are part of this network of people who are dedicated to goodness, to peace, to ease. Those who sit meditation retreats in silence, those who don’t, past, present, future. May all of us be well. May all of us practice happily, cultivate well-being with ease. See which phrases of goodwill work for you to open and expand your heart in your own way.
And for those of you on Zoom who have a sense of the gallery view, all these fellow practitioners from around the world, you can bring a mental image of that to your mind, to your heart for a moment, and let your heart be brightened. May all of us be well. May all of us have ease. May all of us be happy, practice well, practice happily.
Maybe individual members of the community come up in your heart. Wish them well, if that’s the case. Or just the community, this invisible web of connection.
If you want to stay with the web of practitioners you’re part of, that’s fine. And if your heart feels like expanding it to all beings, may all of us beings, may all of us be well, have goodness in our lives. However we’re trying to do our best in the world, even if our best looks like a mess, still, may all of us have ease and well-being and goodness. Sharing your goodwill unconditionally. May all beings be well. May all beings, whatever their circumstance, have happiness, health, ease, safety. Seeing that human life is tough for everyone, may all of us have ease as much as possible.
And if that feels too grand, then come back. Come back to just the community, wherever it feels easiest, not complicated. Wherever it feels easiest. Maybe it’s easiest to be with yourself, or just a friend, perhaps a practitioner friend or just a supportive friend. That’s okay too. Whatever is easiest.
As we approach the end of this meditation period, feel in your heart the moment of connection, joy, gladness, happiness, any goodness, any moment of goodness that might have arisen during this period. Even if it was just one moment of gladness, reconnect with that. Reconnect with this planting seeds of goodness, appreciation, gratitude, goodwill, whatever the flavor might be. And trusting that we’re planting seeds that will flower in their own time, seeds of goodness together in this vast garden of humanity.
And dedicating the goodness of our co-created practice together, this co-created goodness, for the benefit of all beings everywhere. Whether or not they’re practitioners doesn’t matter. To all beings everywhere, unconditional goodwill. May all beings be happy. May all beings be free, including ourselves.
Thank you, everyone. Sweet, very sweet.
So, we have some time now. Maybe I’ll share a reflection first. It’s quite sweet for me to feel into this invisible web that I usually don’t think about and consider, and just wishing well, wishing goodness for all these beings we’re cultivating. For my mind and my practice support tonight, it started with our Sangha here tonight and just the sense of us being together. I have a picture of many of you on Zoom, you know, the Zoom square. It’s like, “Oh yeah, here’s this community coming together,” and this goodwill for me to be included. And then all the people on the retreat that I just had with all my fellow co-teachers, and then it just kept expanding to all the people I’ve ever taught or practiced with over the years. And it just kept expanding. Wow, so much goodness, so much support. And then beyond, all of humanity was very sweet, feeling into that, the goodness of that for me, the appreciation and the goodwill of all these practitioners, all of us doing this practice for the benefit of not just ourselves but all beings. It’s really moving.
So I want to invite us to engage with sharing a few words, perhaps, how was this practice for us? Was there a moment… oh yeah. So the question I want to give you, and I’ll do my own practice report on that, is I asked you if there was a moment of gratitude, joy, happiness as you were practicing, or goodwill. For me, there were many, and one in particular was considering all the people that I’ve taught. I think I’ve taught more than a hundred retreats in person, so so many people that I’ve met in person, over thousands of people by now. So I was just struck by, wow, this is so lovely. All of us, so many people over time. It was a moment of, wow, this is quite a vast network that this being is interconnected with in this practice. It just really brought a lot of joy for me.
So I want to invite you to connect with one another because now you’re going to be in small groups, in small Sanghas, in small communities of three or four people. At first, when you enter the Zoom room, just start with a moment of silence and just wishing each other well. Just seeing all the Zoom squares, or if somebody’s on the phone, the phone number, like, “Oh yeah, wishing each other well.” So starting by maybe just 30 seconds of wishing each other well. How sweet is that? And maybe greeting each other by wishing, “Wishing you well. May you have ease. May you have happiness.”
And then if you like, you can share if there was a moment of joy or “aha” or gratitude or something that came up for you. If you were distracted, if you fell asleep, that’s perfectly fine too. That’s a perfectly fine practice report. And I put in Metta that we practice with. And just to always reiterate, especially for new folks, that our small group practice is a continuation of our sitting practice: mindfully speaking, listening, embracing compassion, kindness. If any reactivity or reactions come up internally or externally, stay on the topic that I gave you. So first, silence for a few seconds, doing silent Metta for one another, and then greeting each other with goodwill and kindness. And then if you want to share, if you want to go in alphabetical order by first name, sharing just one thing that came up. And if not, it’s okay, you can say “pass,” no problem. And then taking turns briefly, saying one thing briefly, making sure everybody has a chance to say something, and not giving advice, not interrupting, staying with the order. And yeah, that’s basically it. And enjoying each other, really enjoying the small groups tonight, especially as an aspect of community. These are your fellow practitioners. This is what I was talking about. It’s exactly this. These fellow practitioners.
So I am going to open the rooms. And take care of yourself, take care of each other. Here we go.
Hello everyone, welcome back. The rooms are closed, and we have a few minutes for reflections, questions, comments. The floor is open. Any thoughts? How was this practice? What came up as you silently did Metta in small groups for each other and then greeted each other, perhaps with kindness, goodwill, and then shared or heard each other’s practice reports? I’m still on retreat mode… practice reports. What happened?
And I’m going to open chat too. If you want to put it in chat, you’re welcome to. You can also raise your hand. And if in chat you write it to me privately, I will read your reflection, not your name. And if you write it publicly, I’ll read both your name and your reflection. Any practice reports you’d like to share for the benefit of the community?
Maybe you’re so chilled you don’t feel like talking.
Barbara: Well, I just really appreciated this particular meditation tonight because it was thanks to my Sangha friend where I was like, “Ah, I’m here helping a medical emergency and all this, and I’m stressed.” And he said, “Nikki’s in five minutes.” And I was like, “Oh boy, I’m so there.” So there you go.
Nikki: Oh, that’s sweet. Thanks for sharing this. I didn’t quite catch earlier that you shared that you’re visiting family in an emergency situation, to help out with care. Oh, holding you, dear Barbara, with care, and your family. And so glad you’re here. Yeah, thank goodness for support, for community support, for practitioners. And you know, all of us, we’re walking each other home. We’re just walking each other home, all of us.
Barbara: Thank you, Nikki.
Nikki: Yeah, thank you, Barbara. Glad you’re here, you could join us. And I hope this meditation, this being with community, supports you so that you can support your family. Beautiful. Yeah, holding you in our hearts.
Diana: I had this weird, possibly negative thing going on. In terms, I was feeling connected when you talked about taking our part or taking our place, that’s what it was. But I tended to not feel a group. I couldn’t… somehow it came to me that there’s this group, almost like a professional group or something, and I don’t know where that came from. So I decided to just be with people, because I always think of this group as people. I see all the various people up there and I see them as individuals and feel very close that way. So because somehow in my head there was some sort of a group label thing going on. And so I decided to approach it more individually and then also offered Metta for my small group in my hometown here as well for myself, because I wasn’t feeling my group is a group or something. I don’t know how to put it.
Nikki: What I’m appreciating in what you’re describing, Diana, is how your mind was creating some blocks and you just worked with it. “Okay, that feels funny. Okay, fine, I’ll try this. Okay, that works.” That’s sweet, cool. So this is great. That’s exactly right. That’s what it is. It’s our minds finding ways to make the practice work, even though part of the mind is like, “Nope, not that, that doesn’t work.” So beautiful. Thanks for sharing this. This is great. Love it. Thank you.
I see one reflection sent to me anonymously: “Unfortunately, today my mind and heart was filled with sadness for lack of love I’m feeling where I am now with family. Then I realized I need to appreciate what I have, but still, my heart is heavy. One of those days, I guess.”
Yeah, thank you for sharing that. And what I appreciate in your practice report is, you know, it is what it is, right? The way that you’re holding it is, “Well, it is one of those days.” Right? It’s not like it’s the end of the world. It’s just one of those days. There are some days like this, and it’s okay. It’s all right. It’s like this. So meeting it, meeting the heaviness of the heart with honesty, with vulnerability, and also with equanimity. It’s one of those days. And also with realizing that, yeah, there is goodness. Maybe there are some challenges in the family dynamics, family situation, and there is heaviness. And being underneath that heaviness is the need to connect, is the need to have more love. So that’s beautiful. So I appreciate that and also appreciating that there is goodness. It’s not all difficulty and challenge all the time, even though that might seem predominant. So I’m appreciating how you’re working with it. And it’s, yeah, bringing more equanimity and appreciation to what is. And also, I’m inviting you to meet the heaviness of the heart with compassion. “Oh, sweetheart, this is hard. Yeah, it’s hard to have challenges, conflict, difficulty, lack of care in a family dynamic. It’s okay, honey. May I have ease? May all of us family members who are entangled with one another in this way, may all of us have ease. All of us are doing our best, and our best looks like this mess. And it’s okay. It’s all right, honey. This is hard. This is hard. It’s okay.” So meeting it with compassion is what I invite you to practice with.
So, any other reflections, questions, practice reports? Going once, going twice… Okay, great. So let’s close if there are no other reflections or questions. And this time, the holiday, especially with Christmas in the US next week, there’s a time families are coming together, and sometimes it’s joyous and sometimes it’s challenging, and it’s part of being human. So yeah, appreciating ourselves for showing up, for doing our best to cultivate, to plant seeds of kindness, goodwill for ourselves and for others in this world. May all of us have ease. May all of us be free. May all of us have goodness, as much goodness as possible in our lives. Thank you for your practice, everyone. May all of us be well.