This is an AI-generated transcript from auto-generated subtitles for the video Happy Hour: Launching Ourselves into the New Year with Kindness. It likely contains inaccuracies.
The following talk was given by Nikki Mirghafori at the Insight Meditation Center in Redwood City, California. Please visit the website www.audiodharma.org for more information.
Hello, and welcome everyone to the January 1st edition of Happy Hour, practicing together. I wanted to invite us to practice cultivating goodwill, mettā1, for ourselves, others, and the world, leaning into our presence and intentionality for the year. That will be the theme of the guided meditation today. I’ll just leave it at that and introduce more as I lead us.
So with that, let’s begin. Let’s settle into our meditation posture. Whether you’re sitting in a chair, if you need to move to a position that’s more comfortable, just take a moment. All of us, maybe lean left and right, maybe stretch your arms, maybe leaning forward and backward, really finding your center of gravity, becoming embodied. Really feeling your body before settling, feeling the body in any way that the body wants to be felt. Perhaps rotating your wrists, your ankles. This body is alive. This body is alive in this moment.
Then take your time to settle into an upright posture if you’re sitting. Not a tight posture, but allowing the back to be straight and upright, as if you’re being pulled up by an invisible string that is effortlessly pulling you up, vertebrae by vertebrae. The rest of your body can relax, relax, relax, offering its weight to the Earth. The body is both grounded, rooted into the Earth, and connected and uplifted at the same time. Holding these dichotomies: uplifted and grounded.
Uplifted and grounded sounds like a good theme for the new year. Uplifted, rising up with our aspiration, our heart’s aspiration, lifting our heart up as our body is connected, rooted to the Earth, stable, present here. A nice heavy ballast settling us into the present moment.
Relaxing and receiving the breath. The breath moving through the belly, the chest, connecting the sense of rootedness of the body with the uplift of the heart. The breath as the air element has a lightness about it, and yet it moves through the body, the earth element, stable, grounded, steady.
Letting go of thoughts and plans in this moment, just receiving the in-breath, out-breath, allowing the receptivity to help settle the heart and mind.
I’d like to invite you, with each in-breath, as the in-breath is received—not focused on, that’s too effortful—when the in-breath is received, relax the body and receive the in-breath. See how that can shift your experience. Receive the in-breath however it shows up. The in-breath happens on its own—deep, shallow, it doesn’t matter. Relaxing and receiving the in-breath, not controlling, not focusing, but just receiving whatever is already here, however it presents itself. We receive the in-breath. Receiving the in-breath, however it is, as a gift of aliveness. I’m present, I’m alive. I’m alive in this moment. I have the chance to be alive and receive this gift. Simply receive, not resisting the gift, not doubting it, not judging it, not wanting it to be otherwise. It’s like this right now.
Receiving this gift of the breath, of aliveness in this moment. And with the out-breath, offering the out-breath wrapped with goodwill. Breathing out your good wishes, your kindness, your friendliness. First, to this being who is you. Greeting yourself, “Hello, hello, dear being.” Wishing you well, wishing you goodness, wishing you safety, happiness, health, and ease.
You can synchronize with each out-breath if you wish. The wishes for safety, health, or happiness. Actually, second one, happiness. Third one, health. Fourth, ease. So the in-breath, receiving the gift of aliveness, a sense of presence. And with the out-breath, breathing out the wishes for goodwill. If the four wishes are too complicated, just keep it simple: wishing yourself well. “May you be well. May I be well.”
If it feels too complicated at any point, the receiving and giving, lean into whatever is simplest. Do whatever feels simplest and most nourishing, most friendly to yourself.
Powering this being who is you with goodwill, with good wishes for this new year, on whose first day you are practicing. You are planting wholesome seeds. If it feels okay, addressing yourself kindly: “I wish you well, dear. I wish you goodness. I wish you safety, happiness, health, and ease this year. I wish you well. May I be a friend to myself this year. I’d like to be a friend to myself, kind and supportive. May I be kind to myself. May I be kind to myself this moment by inviting a kindness to my heart right now, whatever is happening.”
Giving yourself a loving send-off as you launch into this year. The way that some parents pack a lunchbox for their kids and send them off in the morning with their care, with their love, their goodwill, you launch yourself off in this moment with kindness, goodwill, good wishes, and care.
You can stay with yourself throughout the practice today. And if you wish, now you have the option to bring someone who’s easy, who’s dear and easy. It could be a pet, a child, a friend, a benefactor, a teacher—someone easy into your heart space. And wish them well, as if in this moment, present in this moment, you’re giving them a loving, caring send-off into the New Year. “I wish you well, dear friend, dear one. May you be safe, happy, healthy, and at ease.” Right here, wishing them well. Preparing a lunchbox of care and goodwill for them. “May you be well.” A lunchbox of goodwill and friendliness.
Without attachment to outcome, of course. We’re simply planting seeds of goodwill, cultivating friendliness, care, and love in our own heart. No attachment. Preparing the lunchbox and sending it off, letting it go.
If it feels okay, staying where you are, either with yourself or with an easy being, or both of you. “May both of us have ease and well-being.” And if it feels okay, you can stay there or invite someone for whom there’s a tiny bit of challenge in your heart. Not the biggest, most challenging person in your life, don’t go there. Just a little bit of challenge, a little bit of cloudiness in the heart. Is it okay to wish them well? And if it’s not available, come back to yourself or the easy being. Just gently stretching without getting out of balance. “May you have goodness in the new year.” You might need to keep them really far away in your mind’s eye. They’re on an island, and they have well-being and goodness, but it’s possible, perhaps, to wish them well.
For the last minutes, if it’s possible, expand, wishing all beings everywhere goodness. “May all beings everywhere have ease, well-being, and happiness, as much as possible.” Again, not attached to the outcome, knowing that it’s not possible, that there are joys and sorrows in this world, and yet wishing well for all beings. Wishing well for all beings as much as possible. “May you all be well.” All of us beings who are born and who die, may all of us have ease, well-being, goodness, happiness, joy, and freedom.
May all beings everywhere, including ourselves, be well. May all of us have conditions for goodness, growth, well-being, happiness, and awakening. May all beings be happy. May all beings be free.
Thank you so much for your practice, for joining on this first day of the year. It makes me so happy to be practicing with you.
The arc of our practice today, the guided meditation, was the beginning. I invited us to settle. We always begin by settling, arriving in the body, a sense of the body as stable, the earth element connected to the Earth. And then the breath, the air element, the sense of uplift in the heart and stability in the body. And receiving the breath, relaxing and receiving, not so much going out and focusing, trying to catch the breath.
Then I invited you with the in-breath to lean into receiving this gift of aliveness, this gift of presence, so that we become more embodied with the in-breath. And with the out-breath, I invited you to breathe out this goodwill, these wishes of goodwill, as if your out-breath is showering you with the wishes of goodwill. We start with ourselves, wishing ourselves well as a way of cultivating friendliness, mettā, goodwill. Then we turned to someone who’s hopefully easy, and then if it was available, I invited you to open to someone who’s just a little challenging, wishing them well. Again, in order to feel safe, sometimes you have to put them way, way, way far away, but can we still wish them well?
And the metaphor that I invited you to bring in, both with yourself and with the dear being, was this metaphor of launching yourself as if you were your own child. The same way that parents pack up a lunchbox and send off their children into the day with their goodwill, you’re packing yourself a lunchbox, a suitcase of goodwill. “Go off, dear one, into the New Year, sweetheart. May you have well-being. May you have ease.” Just a sense of this embracing ourselves with goodwill, these dear beings we are who suffer and have aspirations and resolutions and goodwill and challenges and all of that. Launching ourselves with goodwill into the year. And similarly for our dear being. And then, as I mentioned, switching to someone we have some challenges with, if that was possible and accessible without getting off-kilter. And then at the end, opening to all beings everywhere, cultivating our goodwill, sharing our good wishes, knowing that, of course, happiness all the time is not possible for ourselves, for our loved ones, for all beings. So, no attachment to outcome, but we do this practice to cultivate our own heart in friendliness, in meeting ourselves and others with goodwill, with kindness. So that was the arc.
The invitation for the small breakout groups in a moment—and if you can stay, I invite you to stay, it’s sweet and auspicious to practice on the first day of the year with your Sangha2, sharing your goodwill, sharing your good wishes for the new year. What are your aspirations for the new year? If you feel comfortable sharing them, I think it’s quite sweet to be held and witnessed by another human being who is on this path and is practicing kindness and goodwill, to share our aspirations with them.
I’ll put the guidelines in the chat. The guidelines for small groups are practicing mettā, mindfully listening and speaking, really treating the breakout as a continuation of the meditation. Embracing compassion, noticing if any resistance or discomfort arises, internally or externally, and meeting it with kindness and compassion. As long as you meet everything with kindness, you’re practicing.
Stay on topic. The prompt tonight—and let’s go in alphabetical order according to first name—the prompt is: What is your aspiration in the ways that you wish to grow, just a tiny bit, maybe just one aspiration for yourself in the new year? If you like, if you feel okay sharing, please do that. That would be one round. You can say “pass,” no problem. For the second round, perhaps you can share, if you like, something that came up in this guided meditation. It could be anything: “I fell asleep,” or “I felt a little kindness towards this person I’ve been having challenges with. It wasn’t as hard as I thought,” or maybe, “Oh, it was really hard, it was harder than I thought.” That’s all good.
So, staying on topic and taking turns briefly. Each person shares a little nugget, then the next person, then the next person, and it comes back to you again. You go around and round, avoiding cross-talk, interrupting, or giving another person advice, keeping the space safe and kind. As long as we’re practicing kindness in the small groups, we’re doing the practice right. There’s no right or wrong.
I’m creating the breakout rooms now. Take care of yourselves, take care of each other, and really celebrate the opportunity to be with like-hearted people and practicing with them. Opening the rooms now. Here we go.
Welcome back, everyone. Everybody’s back, the rooms are closed. I see some smiles. It’s always sweet to see that after you come back from the rooms. We have some time now for any reflections you’d like to share. I will open chat. You can either type it or you can raise your Zoom hand and you’ll be given the floor. What came up? What would you like to share for the benefit of the community?
I see Ola. Let’s see, Ola, I’m going to ask you to unmute.
Ola: I feel excited meeting new people.
Nikki: Sweet. Yeah, nice. Thanks for sharing this, Ola. This is a special community. Welcome. New and lovely people.
Ola: New and lovely people.
Nikki: Yeah, that’s a great advertisement for Happy Hour: “Come meet new and lovely people.” We all hope you come back, Ola. Sweet. Any other reflections on today’s practice on this January 1st? What’s on your heart?
Someone sent me a direct message: “Meditation with my kitties helps me cultivate mettā.” Yay! Kitties are so helpful. Pets, yes, yes. They’re so cute and lovely. Yeah, thank you for sharing this. Oh, and I see Terrence, you’re sitting with your puppy there. Oh my God, my mettā is just falling out of my heart. I don’t see all of you because of privacy. I wonder if the person who has their kitties, if your kitties might be willing to come into the frame too. It’d be sweet to see them. Oh yes, sweet. Very sweet. Thanks for sharing. That just brings up a lot of mettā. Oh, very sweet.
Ah, I see a bunch of hands. Fred, you’re up.
Fred: Thanks, Nikki. For years on January 1st, I would sit down and formally go through the previous year. I’d look through my calendar and see what it jogs in my memory and write it down. And always, there’s massive amounts of things that I’ve forgotten. So I had just begun doing that before we sat down tonight, but I saw that I was looking at my intentions for the previous year, for 2024. And they were full of the sort of unsurprising good things that we aim for here: to live in kindness, to be of service, to be more open, to live in love. And I felt like, well, yeah, I kind of did that this year. I worked at it, and that was the right direction. And I really credit Happy Hour and practice and the close examination of this with close friends for whom it’s important too. It’s wonderful to actually see results and to not presume anything to be accomplished—no “mission accomplished” here—but just to be inclining in the way that I desire and to be able to be clear enough to see that there’s some progress. So, thank you.
Nikki: Ah, thank you so much for sharing this, Fred. I’m delighting. I have so much muditā3, vicarious joy and delight in the way that you’re sharing your wise reflection. The practice of wise reflection is an important part of Buddhist practice, which is really setting an intention, as you did for the previous year, setting the intention and then working at it throughout the year. And then at the end, saying, “Oh yes, there was progress. These are the things that happened,” and taking delight both in yourself and sharing and allowing others to take delight. That yes, it is possible. This is inspiring. We inspire one another, which is why Sangha is so important. And I’m so moved by you sharing, by your practice report that encompasses the whole year. And as you shared, Happy Hour and this community is a part of it. Yay! Thank you, Fred. Thank you so much for being a stalwart member of this community. Yeah, hearts, hearts, hearts.
Yeah, Denise, I see your hand.
Denise: True confession: I was really smiling when we left because I had been watching Amy with the dog she’s taking care of. And if you want to see true loving-kindness going back and forth and absolute adoration, this dog, the body language, just everything, just “ah, in heaven.” You know, we talk about that it’s easy to express that with a pet. And when he’s in the right mood, I can get that out of my cockatiel, but sometimes it doesn’t work quite as well as the dog. But he will, sometimes he’ll get up by me and, yeah, it’s a really special thing. This one is hilarious.
Nikki: Oh my God, thank you for pointing that out, Denise. I’m seeing a small square, I’m seeing Amy and the dog she’s taking care of. Oh my God, adorable. Amy, thanks so much for sharing. Thanks so much for pointing it out. It’s just muditā, right? You’re taking delight in Amy’s love and care and back and forth. Oh my God, I know we’re all, for privacy reasons… oh my God, so cute. Oh my God, licking you all over your face. Oh my God, this is mettā right here. We’re all practicing mettā for you, Amy, right now and your dog. This is so sweet. Oh, thanks, Denise. That’s great. Amy, do you want to say anything now that you’ve been put on the spot? You don’t have to.
Amy: I’m watching him for a friend, and he’s amazing. He cuddles like crazy. Like, I wake up and his head’s just gazing at me. And he loves to just lean on me and cuddle. It’s like the wildest thing. But he’s not mine. And talk about attachment, I have to give him back. It’s like my heart…
Nikki: Perfect example of mettā without attachment, right? Mettā is unconditional. “I love you no matter what, knowing that I’m going to give you back. I just love you in this moment, unconditionally.” This is beautiful, Amy. Thank you. Thank you. Sweet, sweet.
Ah, Diana, I see your hand, please.
Diana: During the meditation, when you were offering for us to work with the person slightly challenging, I did. And this was a person who, and circumstances, put a great challenge over the Christmas holiday, like even more than slightly. So when I heard “that slightly challenging person,” the person automatically came to mind. Automatically, I had challenge, except it wasn’t there. It had gone poof. The challenge had poofed, or I don’t have another word for it. So I thought, “Wait a minute, what happened here?” So I don’t know at what point in time, but it had… maybe there’s a better word than poof. Piffle? I don’t quite know. But anyway, I’ve been released. How about we say “released”? Okay, that’s a share. So that’s what I’m here for, to learn these things, to experience them. That was wonderful, actually. Thank you.
Nikki: Thank you, Diana. Thank you for sharing what came up for you in your practice. And what a beautiful surprise that was. Wow, great. Wow, that challenge, that tightness in the heart, it’s been released through this practice. Yeah, “I can wish this person well. I can wish them well. May they have a good year this year.” Yeah, wow, look at that. Who would have thought? Yay, right? Exactly. Beautiful.
Beautiful. So, dear ones, we’ve come to the end of our January 1st practice session together, and I’m so absolutely delighted to be practicing with you. Thank you. And I wanted to let you know, I’m going to be traveling. I’m going to be sitting a retreat, and I’m going to be teaching a retreat. So I’m going to be gone for January. I’ll be back in February. Of course, Happy Hour continues with our wonderful substitute teachers who are going to continue. And yeah, thank you for giving me the honor and privilege to practice with you. Thank you. This is just such a joy, really, such a joy for me. Thank you all. Thank you for your practice. Thank you for your presence. Thank you for your cultivation.
May the seeds we plant together to cultivate our heart in goodness and kindness, in friendliness towards ourselves, towards others, may it be a cause and condition for the freedom of all beings everywhere. May all beings be happy. May all beings be free, including ourselves.
Thanks, everyone. Take good care. I’m going to stop the recording. I’m going to stop YouTube.
Mettā: A Pali word meaning goodwill, loving-kindness, friendliness, or benevolence. It is a central concept in Buddhist practice. ↩
Sangha: A Pali word for the community of Buddhist practitioners. The original transcript said “Sana,” which has been corrected to “Sangha” based on the context of practicing with a community. ↩
Muditā: A Pali word for vicarious or sympathetic joy; the pleasure that comes from delighting in other people’s well-being. ↩