This is an AI-generated transcript from auto-generated subtitles for the video Happy Hour: Metta for this moment in time, and “what’s not wrong” right now?. It likely contains inaccuracies.
The following talk was given by Nikki Mirghafori at the Insight Meditation Center in Redwood City, California. Please visit the website www.audiodharma.org for more information.
Hello everyone. Hello again. So lovely to be with you in this moment in time. The theme I’d like to invite us to practice together is a sense of Metta1 for this moment in time. We’ve done practices in happy hour with the past, future, and past selves—Metta for younger versions of ourselves. I realized we haven’t done future selves; that would be fun. Maybe we’ll explore that tonight: Metta for our future selves, if there are any.
We’ve done Metta for different arcs of our lives, as well as loving-kindness and friendliness for who we are in this moment in time. If we consider the arc of our lives, of course not knowing how long it might be, but whatever it is, it’s like this hologram in time. As if we could have this hologram stretch and we could see it in time. Often, we don’t consider this moment as it’s going along. We sometimes look back at our history, at when we were younger, at another version of ourselves. And yet, we don’t often have this appreciation as we’re going through life that this is a moment that is going to become the past. We’re so in our heads sometimes, not embodied, and perhaps compassion and Metta are not so available. We don’t step out of ourselves to see this being who is “me” as going through this life path, with this moment being part of this arc—the challenges, difficulties, intentions, goodwill, and beauty that we have.
So, we’re going to be playing around with that. And if all of this sounded a little too heavy, you can let it all go, and I’ll unpack it.
So now, let’s just sit together, and I’ll guide us wherever this might go. Let’s be open. As always, we’re going to sit and just arrive in our bodies, arriving in our heart with some silence.
Landing, arriving with the breath. Can we relax and receive the breath? Not so much focusing on the breath, but can we relax the body and receive the breath? Relaxing and receiving this breath in this moment as it presents itself, however it’s presenting itself.
Can we relax around receiving the breath? Relaxing the shoulders, relaxing our neck, relaxing our heart center. Relaxing our back, our belly. Relaxing our sit bones into the cushion, into the chair. Softening our legs—upper legs, knees, and lower legs—and feet, and arms. Softening, offering the whole weight of the body to the Earth.
Landing and allowing the breath to be received just as it is—deep, shallow, it doesn’t matter. Notice I’m not inviting us to focus on the breath or to breathe, because it all happens on its own. Simply receiving what is already here. Simply relaxing and receiving the breath. It’s so simple. Don’t need to make it complicated. Relax and receive, and let the breath be as it is.
Can there be just a little bit of enjoying this breath?
Taking some time to land in our bodies, allowing the body to envelop the breath, the breath enveloping the body with ease.
Can we allow this breath to be nourishing, soothing, calming, settling? As if we’re tuning into the quality of the breath, the same way that we would tune to a particular station on the radio. Tuning into the quality of calming, soothing, settling. There could also be the energizing quality that we could tune into at times, but right now, tuning our dial to the settling, nourishing quality of the breath.
What does that mean for each of us? Don’t let it be effortful, but know it’s already here, the same way that the radio waves are already there. It’s just a matter of tuning into them ever so subtly. We don’t have to create it. And if it’s not accessible to tune into it, no problem, no worries. Can we then be with the whole frequency range, whatever is present? It’s all okay.
Spending just a few more breaths feeling the body, feeling embodied, the breath within the frame of the body. Feeling the breath in our toes, our feet, our hands, our belly, our chest.
Now I’d like to invite us to consider, as if we were feeling this body, and yet as if we were watching the movie of our lives. Not a movie in time—you can only watch one particular point of a movie—but as if it was a hologram, this extended hologram. We’re seeing our birth, our childhood, young adulthood, seeing this moment, and then perhaps future moments of aging. This arc of our lives.
At the beginning of this meditation, I’d like to invite us to bring some emphasis to this moment in time as an unfolding of this arc of our lives. This being who was born, whom we identify as “me,” has grown up, has had challenges, difficulties, joys, ambitions, hopes, happinesses, pain, sorrow. Not in a way of getting involved in the stories—this is not a time to think of the stories—but just as if you’re looking from a distance at a hologram. This moment in time is part of this ongoing arc of this being doing their best with what they have been given. And of course, this being will continue to age and get older and die at some point. That’s a part of the arc of life as well.
Bringing awareness and appreciation to this moment in the arc of this life. As if you were watching the arc of the life of your best friend, someone you really care about, a dear being in your life. You are your own beloved other. Appreciating whatever this moment is in this arc of this life. Whether there are challenges—there are always challenges of one type or another—and there are always blessings.
Watching this being that is you with eyes of friendliness, goodwill. As if you’re looking at a friend with interest, curiosity, support, and more than anything else, friendliness.
Perhaps there are phrases of goodwill, friendliness, Metta: “I wish you well.” Directing the goodwill to this moment in time, to the being who is you. Shifting perspectives: “I wish you well.”
And maybe allowing yourself, shifting perspectives again if it’s available, to receive it. As if you’re receiving this goodwill from your wiser self, this inner wisdom, the inner Buddha that sees the arc of your life, sees the whole arc, and it’s wishing you well in this moment. Blessings in this moment, goodwill in this moment. See if it’s possible to open up to it and soak it up, soak up your own goodwill. This goodwill that’s showered upon you, which in some ways is yours, and in some ways, it’s as if coming from a wiser being that sees the whole arc with spaciousness, with gratitude.
What does it feel like to receive the goodwill in this moment? Choose to soak it up. You don’t have to do anything to deserve it. Just because you’re a human being, you live, you die. It’s hard enough to be human.
To allow ourselves to receive this goodwill with no strings attached, nothing that we have to do to deserve it or earn it. Friendliness, goodwill with no strings attached.
And as we bring this meditation to a close together, appreciating our practice. We’re planting seeds of friendliness, goodwill. And planting even one seed of goodwill and kindness is infinitely better than no seeds at all. We don’t know when the seeds are going to flower. Appreciating our practice of cultivating goodwill and friendliness for ourselves and for others. As we’re more friendly to ourselves, we become more friendly with the world. It starts with ourselves.
May our practice be of benefit to all beings everywhere in ways that we cannot comprehend and foresee. May all beings be well. May all beings be happy, including ourselves.
I don’t have my bell with me right now, so it’s going to be a verbal bell. Ding. Ding. Ding.
Thanks, everyone. Thanks for your practice.
Thank you so much for your practice, for coming together in this way, cultivating goodwill and kindness. Just a few words about this practice. We started with inviting the breath to be received, not to focus on the breath, but to relax and receive it, and to also tune into how the breath can be nourishing and calming.
Then we explored this idea of seeing the arc of our lives—past, present, future—and then seeing this moment as part of many, many moments. Because usually, when we’re in the midst of our lives, we tend to lose track of the fact that this is one moment that is going to become the past very soon. Can we imbue this moment of our lives with goodwill, with Metta, with friendliness? So that was an invitation to really try shifting these perspectives, looking at ourselves as if a beloved other, as if a dear friend, and then also receiving our own goodwill. “I’m doing the best I can in this moment.”
If this didn’t quite click for you, that’s okay. No problem. There might be some other aspects of it that worked. We often don’t think of ourselves in this moment as part of the arc of our lives. We’re always either future-oriented, planning, or thinking about the past, regretting. But there’s just a different way that we can relate to ourselves. So that was the invitation, and I hope something opened up.
I’d like to invite us to now shift to another way of practicing, which is when the practice from sitting silently on the cushion now meets others, meets the world. This becomes the practice of Metta, goodwill in real time, meeting another couple of practitioners and sharing.
The invitation that I have for you, the question is this: “What is not wrong in this moment?” As you think of this arc of your life, what is not wrong in this moment? Instead of “what is right,” like “Oh, I’m okay, I’m healthy,” this is a different question. You’re going to answer it: “What is not wrong?”
“Well, my ankle is not hurting right now. My back is not hurting right now. I don’t have acid reflux right now. I don’t have a headache right now. I don’t have hunger right now. I don’t have impatience right now. I’m not angry right now.” Just all the things that are not wrong right now. Does that make sense? It’s a little bit of a mind-twister. “I am not exhausted right now. I’m not drowned in a crowd right now. I don’t have an earache right now.” Whatever. What is not wrong right now?
Just play along, and you’ll see how this goes. In this moment in time, especially because we’ve done this practice now with the arc of our lives, like, “What is not wrong?” “Well, I’m not in grief right now.” Whatever it is.
You’ll go around and around for maybe five or six rounds. When you feel ready, maybe switch. If you were a beloved other of yourself, stepping out of yourself, what are the blessings? What is the goodwill? So it could be either a statement of gratitude or a statement of goodwill for your own self. For example, “I appreciate that I’m going with the flow. There are challenges, but she’s doing the best she can right now.” Or, “I’m grateful for XYZ.”
So the next rounds, after you do “what’s not wrong right now,” it’s either a statement of gratitude or a statement of appreciation for yourself. This is improv; we’re just throwing spaghetti, so you don’t have to get it right. Have fun, I think that’s the most important part.
Welcome back, everyone. I see some smiles. I would love to hear how that went for you. I’m very curious, so please do share for the benefit of all beings. How did that go? What did you discover? Please raise your Zoom hand, or you can put your reflections in chat.
Peter: That was a whole lot of fun. I had trepidation going in; it was unlike anything before, ever. But we had a lot of fun, and it seemed very productive. It required a very different way of thinking to do that, and so I think it allowed us to go deeper into what’s happening for us.
Mima: It was a lot of fun, but it really helped me focus on the blessings of just today, about what was happening with me. It kind of drew my attention to my brother calling me, and I saw his beautiful face when he smiled at me on FaceTime, and little things that happened throughout the day that would have gotten by me if we wouldn’t have practiced this tonight. So thank you for this practice.
Nicholas: Like Peter said, I found it almost like an exercise of improvisation, where you don’t realize how many things are going well. They’re just so ubiquitous that it can be hard to draw them up. We focus so much on what is not well that it’s a warped perspective. But eventually, it became easier to acknowledge what is well in this moment.
Nikki: Yes, all of us tend to focus on what’s wrong, what’s not going well. And yet, what’s not wrong today?
Claire: I’ll echo what everyone else has said so far, but one of the curious things in our three-person team was that it was revealed we were all writers. We all had the same common vocations or passions, so that was really very lovely to be in a like-minded group of people. It was fun.
Amy (from chat): There was a sweet Metta magic in our break room.
Lakshmi (from chat): It was very sweet to connect with people and feel happy for their good fortunes.
Bruce: We were top-heavy, so we answered the first question a lot and didn’t get around to the second. As we went along, it started to get more difficult and started to go a little deeper, I think. So that was good.
Vicki: It was just interesting to think of the difference between what’s not wrong and what I have gratitude for. Because starting out that way, you think, “Well, there’s so much wrong in the world,” but then you realize how much there really is that’s going right. So that was a really curious way to get to what’s right. Thanks.
Nikki: Exactly. There’s so much that is going right in the world.
Audrey: Thank you so much for doing the body scan at the beginning of the meditation. I especially enjoyed it at the end of the day when I’m a little bit more hyped up, and it helps me to get into my body. So I wanted to thank you for that.
Diana: In the meditation, back to the body scan, especially breathing into the different parts of the body and letting each one receive… but the idea of the body and the breath enveloping each other—you used the word “envelop”—I had a wonderful image of the one enveloping the breath and back and forth. That was very nice and settling and peaceful for me. So thank you.
Nikki: Thanks, Diana. I appreciate you reflecting back that phrase that I had never used before. It’s the first time: “the breath enveloping the body and the body enveloping the breath.” There is a play of the breath and the body. This was inspired by a quote I read a few days ago by the person who came up with Rolfing2, which is a style of massage. My paraphrase is that the body is kind of solid matter that wraps itself around the breath. I just love that image. It helps me land in my body more, and my breath.
So thank you, dear ones. Thank you so much for your practice. Thank you for coming and planting seeds of kindness, wholesomeness, and goodness for our own sake and the sake of all beings everywhere. May all beings be happy. May all beings be free, including ourselves.
Metta: A Pali word that translates to loving-kindness, friendliness, goodwill, and active interest in others. It is a form of meditation in which one cultivates these qualities towards oneself and all beings. ↩
Rolfing: A form of deep tissue massage and somatic education developed by Ida Rolf. The speaker may be referring to a concept from her work, which emphasizes the body’s relationship with gravity and structural alignment. ↩